The Red and White’s not-so-helpful Guide to Valentine’s Day

Keri Carroll


It’s the most romantic time of the year. Couples spend February 14 wrapped in each other’s arms. One of the biggest questions is what to do for your special someone on the big day. Here is the Red & White’s not-so-serious guide to a perfect Valentine’s Day.


Valentine’s Day is all about finding something meaningful for your loved one. It should come from the heart. The best gifts are the heartfelt and homemade ones, like special chocolatey treats. If we were you, we’d bake some chocolate cupcakes with one special ingredient: your spit! This is a new way to swap spit. Also, if you want them to have as many parts of you as they can, maybe take your extra nail clippings and add them as replacement sprinkles.


If you are having trouble planning your day and/or night, here’s an idea: take a trip to a waterpark. You’ll get super soaked at the park and then you can go out to eat with your wet hair and bathing suit. Another idea is doing community service and probation work, like picking up trash in those big jumpsuits. You could also dress up in your favorite gown or suit and take a trip to B-town’s finest- Burger King. Split a Whopper and a cookie and enjoy the stunning meal.

The card:

The card is one of the most important aspects of Valentine’s Day. It’s about writing and showing your love for that person all on one folded piece of paper. Sometimes people will put gift cards in there for restaurants for a special date. We think this is a great idea. Why not buy a gift card for Sonic and split a hot dog and slushie? You can also get gas while you’re at it so that you can go do all of your probation work! Make it a trip to the gas station that will forever leave an impact.

We hope that through these tips, you were able to create a more successful Valentine’s Day. Have a beautiful, blessed life and enjoy it with your hubby or wubby.