Mr. Jonathan Virgilio: wise, funny, dramatic, compassionate. He acts like he knows absolutely everyone, and this is what makes him the BEST candidate for principal. 

 Unlike other principals, he will get the entire school Dunkin’ once a week so they don’t have to eat school lunches. (That is not the lunch ladies’ fault. We love our ladies.)

When asked by the Red and White staff, this classy mom had some great things to say about this amazing man.  

“Mr. Johnny Virgilio is just soooo funny. He is so respectful, and always makes sure us parents know how great he is. He slips us a little cash for everyone’s good comment, but that’s off the record,” student’s mom Roberta said.

Virgilio’s coworker spoke at his campaign and had some input for his campaign. 

“He is a great teacher. A really nice guy. My favorite moment with him was when he walked into my classroom and decided to throw a cake on my star student. It was such a kind gesture,” Mrs. Jessica Lloyd said. 

However, it should be reported that she looked like a kid caught in the sugar jar when answering this question. 

Mr. Virgilio is doing many things for his campaign. One of the main things is helping his fellow teachers. He has started gluing chairs to the ground, and gluing pencils onto the hands of students who have a grade lower than a 95% so that they do more work.

“I believe that this will relieve some stress on the teachers. These children are terrifying. I saw one kid chewing on the leg of a chair. I asked him why, and threw it at me. I knew from that day forward I was meant to be principal. I have to save these poor innocent teachers,” Mr. Virgilio said.

Mr. Virgilio plans on having individual therapy sessions with all of his students to make them feel less like a sad dog abandoned in a dumpster. 

“I want my children to be happier. They are always so depressed when they see me. Especially my homeroom. They are some sad kids. They cry so much I have to wipe puddles off the desk. It is very tiring. No more tears, no more,” he said during one of his campaign appearances.   

Mr. Virgillio held his campaign at the best place possible: the prison. 

“I chose this place so that I could show the world that I truly want to help all people excel. Even if they are criminals. I mean, I might be teaching one right now. At least I’m making them smart enough so they get away with it,” he said.

Lastly, Mr. Virgilio concludes his campaign with some final words. 

“I love my students. Vote me for principal. No more chairs will be thrown, unless it’s me doing it,” Mr. Virgilio said. 

 However a student then proceeded to scream “Free the chairs!”  Mr. Virgilio’s rage could not be controlled. Chairs started flying across the room. hitting one student, and injuring many teachers. It was a memorable day. 

“I had a blast. Vote Virgilio. Do it,” the student who was hit with a chair and has a broken nose said.