The Grinch is upon us in the form of Mrs. Jessica Lloyd

Davis Corman, Editor-in-Chief

This article is a work of pure fiction, and is not to be taken seriously.

After a close examination done by senior English students of English teacher Mrs. Jessica Lloyd, it has been discovered that she is in fact THE GRINCH.

Suspicions started last year when she would only wear the infamous “green jacket.” Originally, students thought it was just her lack of good style. However, after the thousandth time of wearing it, they began to suspect more. Eventually, many reported seeing green hair sticking out of the jacket, leading suspicions of her being the Grinch. 

Then there was the lettuce story: Students in her Journalism class had to sit through a three-hour explanation of her dream where Mrs. Lloyd read lettuce like it was a newspaper. The students sat in shock, questioning what human would share such a story.

“It was freaking weird. Like who would do that or be willing to share it to the class? Something is not right with Mrs. Lloyd,” third-year journalism student Pauline Alterio said.

To further investigate these suspicions, many investigators began looking back into her past. To their surprise, there were many stories that raised more questions about her true identity.

One story surrounded her athletic abilities in high school. Mrs. Lloyd shared with her English 12 classes on a daily basis about her past as a bench warmer on her high school basketball team. It seemed that every morning Mrs. Lloyd would go on to explain how she never got to show off her rebounding skills since she was benched by her coach; a professional talent hidden by the actions of an adult.

English 12 student Natalie Mattern said, “If I was that embarrassed in high school, never getting the opportunity to play because I sucked, I too would want to steal Christmas.”

Along with the basketball story, there was also her past of working at McDonalds throughout her high school and college experiences. Throughout December, Mrs. Lloyd was forced to work endless shifts at McDonalds, even over Christmas. Therefore, we believe she grew to hate Christmas, as rather than opening presents, she was flipping burgers. 

At this point, we do concede that we have not yet shown actual proof, but rather circumstantial evidence. However, this was quickly changed by our findings at the Gamble Mill. 

As all who have ever lived in Bellefonte, the Gamble Mill is a hot attraction for BHS teachers. It seems every week, Mrs. Lloyd and her colleagues are going to the Mill for “dinner.” Due to her odd fascination with the location, we went there to see what exactly she did. Sure enough, disguised as a painting in the Mill was a door to a secret lair. Here, we found stolen presents from all over Bellefonte – the proof we were looking for!

Once we discovered the hidden room, everything seemed to piece together. The dog that she never shuts up about, Spencer, was her partner in crime, leading her sled.

Moreover, her student teachers ironically begin instruction near Christmas time, doing all of her work while Mrs. Lloyd spends time planning how she will steal Christmas this year.

After all that we have found, we have no other option but to conclude that Mrs. Lloyd is in fact the GRINCH!