Satire: What’s that smell? Science teacher Eddinger is behind it all

Mrs.+Eddinger+caught+in+the+act+of+making+stink+bombs.

Jenna McCaslin

Mrs. Eddinger caught in the act of making stink bombs.

Jenna Mccaslin, Photographer

Bellefonte High has had a wild year, with many things dripping and spilling out of the school. Many people know of the gas leak and leakage of water here at school, but have you ever wondered what is causing all these problems? Or rather, who? Well she is someone you would never expect. 

For a while now, many students, such as junior Isaac Gearhart, have been considering that there is something fishy going on in the school. He feared for his fellow classmates, and felt betrayed by science teacher Mrs. Drew Eddinger, the final culprit.

“I was genuinely concerned about the well being of my classmates. I think if we heard one more drop of water, or sniffed one more nasty smell, we would have lost it. But little did we know Eddinger did this to us, she used to be my favorite teacher and she just broke my heart and my nose with that funky smell,” Isaac said, with tears streaming down his face. 

Junior Hope Martin and other students have experienced big headaches and have been seeing things from the corner of their eye while the smell is near them and hearing the dripping of the water.

“I have been experiencing many issues since the gas leak. I even thought I saw someone drinking the water dripping in the library at the time. And even Mrs. Eddinger hiding things. It was terrifying, until I found out the truth which was even more scary,” Hope said, as she banged her head into the desk several times as she sat in the library. 

English teacher Mrs. Lloyd is scared for her students, although they are always weird. But moreso, she is very suspicious of her colleague Mrs. Eddinger, thinking she is acting funny and that she is the one behind this funk. Little did she know how right she was. 

“The students scare me. They appear to be bringing in this green water. It smells rancid.  And then kids all start pouring it on my floor and laying in it, licking it off the ground itself. I was deeply disturbed. Eddinger, however, thought my students were so funny,” Mrs. Lloyd cried, as she wiped tears from her face looking around in fear of her students, and of Eddinger herself.

Mrs. Eddinger believes we should all calm down and have fun with the situation. It gives an opportunity to come together as a school and live through this feeling. And that she will maintain her “innocence” through all this talk about her at the time. 

“Some students  came into my classroom and started whispering cryptic things. Like ‘MMMMM GASOLINE.’ Or ‘I LOVE TRASH WATER.’ Which I enjoyed. It made me laugh so hard tears came out of my eyes. Maybe that’s just the gas too. It was still pretty great. I feel like Lloyd is worried about nothing and that I am just having some fun. I mean, I think it is fun,” Mrs. Eddinger shared, as she tiptoed away to what looked like a hidden science lab.  

The community continues to be outraged. They believe we need to come together to save the students of BAHS. Many feel that they don’t even understand their fellow citizens anymore. Even people like our star student, Josh Beers, started yelling odd things. 

“I love the water, and the smell is just sooo nice. I WANT THE WATER,” Josh said, running down the hall screaming while carrying the trash can full of water like a god. 

It has come down to the fact that the school needed to close down for a large amount of time and search for a way to take care of the smell and to find who or what was causing it. 

After many crazy months, we now know the truth of the gas. Ms. Eddinger, an innocent teacher to the eye, caused the problems within the halls. Students will never see her the same again, or smell the same again. 

“It was me. I made stink bombs and hid them throughout the school. I thought it would be a fun team building thing, like who can find the smell today? But, um, I can see how maybe I took it too far,” Mrs. Eddinger said, as she looked blankly into the distance.