Satire: Mrs. Lloyd leaves Mrs. Kreiger in hospital after dispute over outfit


Alex Ebeling

Live action shot of the notorious teacher fight.

Luke Fisher and Alex Ebeling

The once beloved friendship of senior English teachers Mrs. Kelley Kreiger and Mrs. Jessica Lloyd has now been turned into a war after an outfit dispute.

The well-bonded duo was known for making their daily coffee run and spending little time in class as their student-teachers did all the work. 

One day during a regular socializing session in the hallway outside of Lloyd’s room, the two started having a disagreement. This escalated and there were various student reports of them in a screaming match with each other. This was not an average argument according to social studies teacher, Dr. Matthew Martin.

“They were yelling like and I could hear word for word what they were saying from the other side of the hallway. Things even got physical as they started to push each other into lockers and pull out each other’s hair,” Dr. Martin complained.

Things only got worse for them the next day, when things started to escalate. The two were still trying to end their debate, but then on their daily trip to get coffee, things unfolded in the teacher’s lounge. What ensued no one would have expected: the two best friends got into a full out fight.

There were coffee cups flying across the room and coffee splattering all over the walls. There were fists connecting with faces. Many students rushed into the teacher’s lounge to cheer on their favorite of the two.

After many objects were thrown and many violent acts occured from both parties, Mrs. Lloyd punched Kreiger in the ribs with her brass knuckles and broke a few ribs. Mrs. Lloyd ended up on top of Mrs. Kreiger and started throwing haymakers, eventually knocking Mrs. Kreiger out.

This whole fight was because of one simple thing—the notorious green jacket that Mrs. Lloyd has been seen wearing for the past four years – both as regular jacket, and sometimes as a fashion piece inside the school walls. 

“I mean, the green jacket is just dumb, it looks like a leprechaun’s jacket. No one should be wearing that,” said Mrs. Kreiger.

Mrs. Lloyd attempted to defend the jacket.

“Kreiger has no taste in style. She is just a nerdy English teacher and should not be disrespecting my drip,” Mrs. Lloyd said.

Many people are upset at the fact that the famous duo is now breaking up.

“This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. This is worse than the Jonas brothers breaking up,” Ruby Bjalme said, who has been in both teachers’ classes.

Kreiger woke up in the hospital in crucial condition and she was on life support. She had a broken jaw, many cracked ribs and a severe concussion.

Lloyd had a comment after the fight.

“Honestly, Mrs. Kreiger is pretty weak, I wasn’t even trying. She needs some milk,” Mrs. Lloyd said.